Key #4: Connect with Training
Thank you for stopping by to my website. I’ve been writing a series of blog posts about
Six Key Connections Every Adoptive and Foster Parent Should Make. During my thirty-
plus years of parenting, I’ve learned a few things…well at least six. And I’m sharing
them with you here.
Trauma-informed training for adoptive and foster parents is one of my passions. In The
Connected Child (a book that transformed our family), Karyn B. Purvis, Ph.D. states,
“Deprivation and harm suffered early in life impact all the ways a child
develops—coordination, ability to learn, social skills, size, and even the neurochemical
pathways in the brain.”
Traditional parenting methods do not work with children who have experienced trauma.
My husband and I learned this the hard way. Twenty-two years ago, our first adopted
daughter arrived at age eight. Because she was a relative we had no foster parent
training classes. No warning about what to expect. We parented her with the same
privileges, opportunities, expectations, and disciplines as our biological kids—a recipe
Eleven years later, after adopting a sibling set of four from Ukraine, we came face-to-
face with a humbling truth—we were ill-equipped to parent kids from hard places. We
were in desperate need of trauma training.
In 2010, we began learning how to be trauma competent caregivers. Since then I’ve
been on a mission to learn everything I can about the impacts of childhood trauma and
how to parent accordingly. And, because my youngest two are diagnosed with a Fetal
Alcohol Spectrum Disorder, I make it my business to become an expert on FASD.
Jayne Schooler, co-author of Wounded Children, Healing Homes, once said, “We don’t
know what we don’t know.” Back in 1999, we truly didn’t know—and caused a lot of
additional trauma as a result. Now that we know better, we can do better. My goal is to
be the best trauma-informed parent I can be—and to help you navigate your journey
Below, I’ve compiled a list of my favorite books, podcasts, and courses so you can
connect with training and resources also.
The Connected Child by Karyn Purvis PhD
The Connected Parent by Karyn Purvis, PhD & Lisa Qualls
Trying Differently Rather Than Harder (FASD) by Diane Malbin
Guided Growth (FASD) by Dr. Ira Chasnoff, MD
How to Have Peace When Your Kids are in Chaos by Kathleen Guire
Websites & Courses
On your journey to becoming trauma informed, ask God for wisdom and seek
knowledge—read every book, listen to every podcast, attend every training. You and
your children will be glad you did.
"In that day he will be your sure foundation, providing a rich storehouse of salvation,
wisdom, and knowledge. The fear of the LORD will be your treasure."
Isaiah 33:6 NLT