Curled up in my favorite chair, I pulled my knees to my chest and sobbed. My heart was crushed by the critical words of a close family member. One of my biological children—now married with children—felt compelled to create and review a list. An actual printed list. A list of my parenting failures. There is a sixteen-year age span between my oldest biological child and my youngest adopted child. But age isn’t the only difference. The five children who were engrafted into our

My husband came home from work and found me facedown on the floor of our walk-in closet. I wish I could say it was my prayer closet and I was storming the gates of heaven War Room –style. But I wasn’t. I was having a meltdown. Life was closing in. I felt overwhelmed by the demands of raising two teenage boys with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, managing a growing nonprofit, and caring for my dad with Alzheimer’s—on top of everyday responsibilities. For decades, I’ve carved out a morn

Control freak. Perfectionist. Dictator. Or, according to PowerThesaurus.org , “Bossy Boots.” Whatever we choose to call it, as a mom, I like to control outcomes. In Control I’ve been a parent for nearly forty years. My children—biological and adopted—range in age from twenty to thirty-seven. For decades, I parented as if I were in control. I assumed that if I did all the right things, I would raise perfect kids. Our family went to church every time the doors were open. The

By the end of December, foster and adoptive parents can feel like we’ve crossed the finish line of a marathon—exhausted, depleted, and running on fumes. The presents are put away, the cookies are gone, the decorations are down—and often, so is our energy, mood, and attitude. The day after Christmas, I found myself tired, cranky, and short on patience. Weeks of preparation and celebration had led to too much sugar, too little exercise, poor sleep, and neglected quiet time. I w

Do you find the Christmas season a time of celebration or struggle? The holidays are supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year, yet they can become a mix of joy and sadness. Christmas is meant to be a joyous jubilee celebrating the birth of Christ. Yet the season can also trigger loss, trauma, and grief for our kids—and for us. So how do foster and adoptive parents navigate both hope and hurt during the holidays? We begin by praising God and pouring out our hearts to

Many children in foster care or adoptive families struggle in school. Two of the biggest barriers to learning are trauma and prenatal exposure to substances . Children who’ve experienced trauma often don’t feel safe — and felt safety is foundational for learning. Prenatal exposure, especially to alcohol, impacts brain development and affects memory, impulse control, and emotional regulation. Because of these factors, our kids often struggle in traditional educational system

It’s the most wonderful time of the year—backpacks, books, and… big behaviors. While many parents look forward to the start of the school...