Today we wrap up our series on the Primary Symptoms of FASD by focusing on the individual’s strengths. Over the past ten posts I’ve unpacked the primary characteristics of Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders:
Dysmaturity
Impulsivity
Slower processing pace
Memory problems
Difficulty with abstract concepts
Difficulty predicting outcomes
Sensory processing challenges
Difficulty generalizing
Language & communication problems
Executive function difficulties
FASD is a spectrum of disorders and not every affected person will exhibit all the symptoms. It’s important to note that individuals with FASD can have low, average or even high IQs. Regardless of diagnosis or IQ, every person is made in the image of God and created with unique gifts and abilities—including people with an FASD.
*For a detailed list of criteria for diagnosis visit FASDUnited.org/fasd-faqs/
FASCETS Neurobehavioral Model
Nearly ten years after my boys were diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS), I attended a FASCETS workshop and discovered the Neurobehavioral Model . Based on the brain-based approach detailed in Trying Differently Rather Than Harder, by Diane Malbin, MSW, this new understanding transformed our lives.
The Neurobehavioral Model helps establish the link between brain function and presenting behaviors. It redefines behavioral symptoms in a manner consistent with research. A profound shift is created when we recognize that our child isn’t the problem, rather he is having a problem. Once we recognize the behaviors we want to fix are actually symptoms of a brain-based condition, we can then focus on supporting our child’s disability—which ultimately transforms their behavior.
Strengths
The Neurobehavioral Model considers Strengths a primary characteristic of FASD. People with FASD or other brain-based conditions face frustrating challenges every day. By
discovering and building on their strengths, we can help our children thrive and improve their self-esteem.
Consider your child’s interests—are they creative, artistic, musical, mechanical, athletic, outgoing? Where do they excel? I call this, mining for gold. Uncover these talents/treasures and encourage and nurture them.
What is the individual’s learning style? Are they a visual or auditory learner? Do they learn better with a more hands-on approach? Are they most successful with one-on-one support? Pay attention to how your child learns best and advocate for their learning style to be supported in school.
When a child’s primary characteristics of FASD are not understood as symptoms of a brain-based condition, secondary symptoms can develop such as frustration, anger, anxiety, depression, self isolation and poor self esteem. By focusing on our kids’ strengths—what they’re good at and what they love doing—some of these behaviors can actually decrease and their successes will increase.
Strengths Stories
My son Jordan wanted to be a policeman or fireman when he grew up. But, due to prenatal exposure to alcohol and spending his first three years of life in an Eastern European orphanage, his small frame and compromised lungs made this an unlikely dream. However, his strengths helped make the impossible possible.
What my son lacks in stature and physical strength, he makes up for with his dynamic and outgoing personality. Today, at age twenty-one, he is a volunteer firefighter with fire-police certification. While he’s limited to exterior fire fighting only because of his physical limitations, Jordan received the department’s Firefighter of the Year award in 2023!
My daughter Missy had endured trauma before coming to us. We noticed, as a teen, she had a way with elderly people. Recognizing this gift, we supported her first job at an assisted living facility. Missy loved interacting with the residents and the routine schedule provided the structure she needed to be successful. Now in her thirties, she has maintained steady employment in elder care and is happily employed at a doctor’s office.
Support Not Sabotage
The brain releases endorphins during pleasurable activities. This natural hormone lowers stress, improves mood, and enhances a sense of well-being. Our children need the positive reinforcement that comes through pursuing interests which bring them joy.
Avoid withholding strengths-based activities as punishment. For example, don’t keep them home from soccer practice because of unfinished homework. Consequences like this will only serve to escalate negative behaviors and crush a child’s spirit. People with FASD or other brain-based conditions typically do not learn from consequences. They learn best in well supported environments where their needs are accommodated.
Gold Mining
What are your child’s strengths?
Dirt bike riding or skateboarding
Cooking or baking
Landscaping or woodworking
Fashion or interior design
Singing or playing an instrument
Dancing or gymnastics
Working with children or the elderly
Working with animals
God buried treasure within each of our children. As parents and caregivers, we have the privilege and responsibility to discover their talents, nurture their gifts, and build on their strengths. Whatever causes your child to light up, allow them to pursue it and then watch them shine!
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