Soul Care for the Surrounded Parent

My husband came home from work and found me facedown on the floor of our walk-in closet. I wish I could say it was my prayer closet and I was storming the gates of heaven War Room–style.

But I wasn’t.

I was having a meltdown.

Life was closing in. I felt overwhelmed by the demands of raising two teenage boys with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, managing a growing nonprofit, and caring for my dad with Alzheimer’s—on top of everyday responsibilities.

For decades, I’ve carved out a morning quiet time with the Lord. But there have been seasons when that time wasn’t quiet—and it certainly lacked quality. I was in one of those seasons.

I felt surrounded. 

Surrounded 

“When the servant of the man of God got up and went out early the next morning, an army with horses and chariots had surrounded the city. ‘Oh no, my lord! What shall we do?’ the servant asked.

‘Don’t be afraid,’ the prophet answered. ‘Those who are with us are more than those who are with them.’

And Elisha prayed, ‘Open his eyes, LORD, so that he may see.’ Then the LORD opened the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.” —2 Kings 6:15–17 (NIV)

Foster and adoptive parents often feel surrounded too—not just by children, but by trauma, big behaviors, school struggles, appointments, court dates, reunification, strained relationships, grief, and loss.

Add aging parents, adult children, grandchildren, marriage, and household responsibilities, and life becomes so crowded it’s hard to see—or hear—Jesus in the noise.

Like Elisha’s servant, we must shift our focus. Off our circumstances. Onto the Lord. 

Jesus Modeled Soul Care

Jesus understands what it means to be surrounded.

In Matthew 14, after hearing of John the Baptist’s death, Jesus withdraws to a solitary place. He is grieving—and He seeks time alone with His Father.

But the crowds follow.

At least nine times in the Gospels, we see Jesus intentionally stepping away for solitude and prayer. Even when His quiet time was interrupted, His commitment to the Father remained steady.

Because Jesus prioritized intimacy with the Father, He was able to serve with compassion—even in grief. This is the same moment He feeds the five thousand.

We care for our families every day. But are we serving with joy?

I’ll be honest—sometimes I don’t. Especially when my quiet time is neglected and my cup is empty. 

Serving from an Empty Cup

When we brought our youngest son home from Ukraine, it felt like we had adopted the Tasmanian Devil from the old Warner Bros. cartoons. This tiny “Taz” spun through our home leaving a trail of chaos behind him.

My quiet time became collateral damage.

So did my patience.

Times of stress will come. But empty cups and stale bread won’t sustain us.

Serving from a Full Cup

After feeding the five thousand, Jesus sent the crowds away and went up on a mountainside to pray (Matthew 14:23).

Again—He returned to soul care.

From that place of renewal, He walked on water. Then returned to meet the crowds once more— healing, serving, glorifying God.

Jesus was constantly surrounded. Yet He consistently made time with the Father a priority.

That time fueled everything.

We are surrounded too. Daily demands. Constant needs. 

So the question becomes: Are we serving from depletion—or overflow?

We cannot reflect God’s character when we are spiritually empty. Soul care is not optional—it’s essential.

Small Faith or Growing Faith?

In Matthew 17, while Jesus is on the mountain with Peter, James, and John, the remaining disciples are unable to heal a boy in crisis.

Why?

Jesus points to their lack of faith.

According to the Wiersbe Bible Commentary, it’s possible they had neglected prayer and spiritual discipline. When the crisis came, they were unprepared.

Jesus tells them to have faith like a mustard seed.

Not because it’s small—but because it grows when nourished.

Faith must be fed.

And soul care is how we nourish it.

Quench Your Thirst Daily

The Lord invites us to green pastures and still waters. He restores our souls (Psalm 23:1–3).

But we must come.

We must drink.

Jeannie Cunnion writes, “We are born thirsty… Jesus is inviting us to drink from Him—the only true refreshment… We will stay thirsty until we drink from Him.”

Stale bread won’t sustain us. Empty cups won’t carry us.

We need a fresh filling—every single day.

What Is Soul Care? 

Soul care is the daily practice of nurturing your inner life—your heart, mind, body, and spirit.

In a world filled with noise—kids, phones, emails, social media, news—our souls are easily neglected.

But surrounded people need intentional rhythms of renewal.

Especially foster and adoptive parents.

Who Has Time for This?

You might be thinking: I don’t have time for one more thing.

But what if you do?

The average American spends 4.5 to 5 hours a day on their phone. That’s nearly 2.5 months a year.

There’s your time.

The question is—how will you spend it?

Six Keys to Soul Care 

1. Scripture

Trade scrolling for soaking. God’s Word is living, active, and sustaining.

When my grandson unexpectedly went to be with Jesus, the time I had spent journaling through the Psalms carried me. Especially the lament psalms. God’s Word held me in a way nothing else could.

2. Prayer

When we cannot control outcomes, we can always pray.

During a difficult season with one of our adult children, I found myself overwhelmed—mentally and emotionally. One morning, I sensed the Lord whisper, “Get out of your head and onto your knees.”

Nothing around me changed immediately—but everything within me did.

3. Gratitude

Gratitude shifts our focus and strengthens our faith.

Keeping a thankfulness journal has been one of the most life-giving practices in my daily rhythm. Big blessings. Small joys. All of it matters.

Gratitude fills the soul with joy.

4. Silence God still speaks—but we must be quiet enough to hear.

Like Elijah in the cave, we often expect God in the dramatic. But His voice is often a gentle whisper.

Silence positions us to listen.

5. Church

We were never meant to do this alone.

Community strengthens, sharpens, and sustains us. For foster and adoptive parents especially, finding people who understand your journey is life-giving.

6. Creation

Time outside is deeply restorative.

A simple walk. Fresh air. Sunlight. Noticing the beauty of God’s creation.

It all points us back to Him—and refreshes our souls. 

Spiritual Maturity Begins Here

Soul care is not self-indulgent—it is spiritually formative.

It strengthens our faith. Grounds our emotions. Restores our perspective.

We don’t want empty cups or fragile faith.

We want endurance. Compassion. Stability. Joy.

And those are cultivated in the quiet.

Be intentional. Make space. Meet with the Lord daily.

Your soul—and your family—depend on it.