Summer Survival Strategies for Foster & Adoptive Parents

Are you counting down to summer with excitement—or bracing yourself for the chaos ahead? School is out, the kids are home, the house is a mess, and everyone seems glued to a screen. If you're wondering how you'll survive until September, the secret might be simpler than you think: structure.

Children with a history of adversity thrive in predictable environments. Their sensitive nervous systems crave routine in order to feel safe. This “felt safety” is essential for. learning, connection, and emotional regulation. During the school year, that predictability is built in. But once summer hits, the lack of routine can lead to irritability, anxiety, and tension—for kids and parents alike.

Why Structure Matters

When my son transitioned from homeschooling to a special education classroom, it was our first experience with public school. Our homeschool schedule had been flexible, and I looked forward to unstructured breaks. But three days into his first school vacation, Slava told me, “I like it better when I’m in school ’cause then I know what to do.” While I enjoyed the freedom, my son needed structure. He wanted to know what was coming next.

It reminds me of the saying, “Without a plan, the people perish,” a loose interpretation of Proverbs 29:18. The Amplified Bible puts it this way: “Where there is no vision [no revelation of God and His word], the people are unrestrained; but happy and blessed is he who keeps the law [of God].” In the spirit of that message, when summer arrives without a plan, our kids can become dysregulated—and we wonder if we’ll make it to fall.

But there’s good news: a bit of structure can go a long way. Let’s look at how to build a summer schedule that supports felt safety—and sanity—for the whole family.

Summer Survival Strategies

• Create a daily schedule

• Maintain consistent mealtimes

• Stick to a bedtime routine

• Limit screen time

• Post and practice the schedule

• Include the whole family

• Extend grace

• Avoid comparisons

Building Summer Structure

Though we often associate summer with freedom, structure actually brings peace to our homes. Start with a flexible schedule that works for your family. You don’t have to wake at dawn—just create a morning rhythm: breakfast, getting dressed, brushing teeth, and light chores. No matter what time the day begins, consistency is key.

Mealtimes: The Anchors of the Day

Meals can serve as natural checkpoints throughout the day. Start with breakfast and plan tasks and activities up to lunch, then from lunch to dinner. Include outdoor play, reading, free time, and responsibilities. A daily to-do list—even a loose one—provides helpful structure. Also, don’t forget to schedule snacks. For kids who have experienced food insecurity, knowing when to expect food can significantly reduce anxiety.

Bedtime Routine

While it’s tempting to stay up late in the summer, a consistent bedtime is essential. Adequate sleep improves behavior and emotional regulation—for children and adults alike. Bedtime routines might include bath time, pajamas, reading, and prayers. Repeating the same steps each night helps kids wind down and prevents meltdowns.

Managing Screen Time

Limiting screen time is one of the toughest, but most important, things we can do. Too much time on devices can increase irritability, anxiety, and sleep issues while reducing focus, emotional regulation, and real-world social skills.

For kids with prenatal exposure to substances, screen time may worsen behavioral symptoms. To manage this, tie screen time to your daily schedule and make it something to be earned: for example, after chores and playtime, 30 minutes of screen use is allowed. Use timers and give time warnings to ease transitions.

Avoid screens before bed—blue light can disrupt sleep patterns and make falling asleep harder. And be sure to include screen time on your posted schedule so kids know it's not off-limits, just structured.

Post and Practice the Schedule

Post your schedule where everyone can see it—on a whiteboard, poster, or printed sheet. For younger kids or those with reading challenges, add visuals. But remember, posting isn’t the same as following. Teach the new routine. Practice it together. Then repeat. Like anything new, consistency and patience are required.

Make It a Family Affair

Build the schedule as a family. Involving your kids gives them a sense of ownership and can ease resistance. Emphasize that this isn’t just about rules—it’s about everyone, including parents, sticking to the rhythm. Eat together, play together, and complete tasks as a team when possible.

Prioritize Fun & Outdoor Time

Be intentional about planning fun. Make time for outdoor activities and family play. Nature, movement, and laughter are some of the best ways to reduce stress. Swimming, hiking, biking, rock climbing—even running through the sprinkler—all help regulate emotions and strengthen connections.

Extend Grace

Let’s be real—schedules are hard to maintain, especially in the summer. You won’t follow it perfectly, and that’s okay. Extend grace to your kids—and to yourself. Adjust as needed. And when you inevitably veer off course, just start again.

Avoid Comparison

Foster and adoptive families are unique. What works for one child—or one family—might not work for yours. Some kids thrive at summer camps and sports programs, while others need quiet, structured time at home. Know your child. One of mine loves being in groups, while the other struggles with sensory overload. Different needs require different schedules—and that’s okay.

Start Planning

A predictable schedule brings felt safety and reduces anxiety, meltdowns, and power struggles. It also helps kids learn to manage time and feel a sense of accomplishment. With a little planning, summer doesn’t have to feel like survival—it can be filled with peace, joy, and connection.

Let’s make this summer one to remember—for the right reasons.

If you’d like to hear me share about summer survival strategies, check out episode 483 of the Adoption & Foster Care Journey podcast HERE.